Is spirituality meant to be secret?

…whenever you pray, go into your room, and shut the door and pray to the Father who is is secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. (Matthew 6: 6).

Listen to the light inside you and it will let you see the secret places. (George Fox)

I’ve tried writing two posts about silent prayer - about two forms that are especially attractive to me - and through which, somewhat differently, I experience the presence and guidance of the same One Spirit. I think we do need a minimal sort of structure and process in our contemplative life, just enough to ground us, to connect with a tradition and community, perhaps, and to invite further journeying, freedom, and reverie.

All attempts to write about these practices and my experiences have been absolutely hopeless. They begin feeling like the greatest thing I’ve ever written, which isn’t a good sign already, take a lot of time, words, and then scatter into deadness. 

Somewhere, in the process of writing directly about her (or him), the Spirit gets very bored, or restless, or shy. Or retreats into the secret chamber of my heart. 

I once fell asleep in meditation, then suddenly woke from an intense dream. Inside me, loud joyful music was playing: I and others were singing a Holy Mass! 

I’m really not that pious or charismatic, but my soul had taken the opportunity while I was asleep.

I once heard an Indian holy man address this topic. He said “secret” and “sacred” are very close (possibly referencing Sanskrit in the process). That we keep our most precious mantra to ourself. That it’s just between us and God.